“No greater wrong can ever be done than to put a good man at the mercy of a bad, while telling him not to defend himself or his fellows; in no way can the success of evil be made surer or quicker.”
Sometimes, people with good intentions cause more damage than they do help. I’m sure that I’ve been guilty of this at times, so I’m not standing in judgement. I’m simply pointing out that when it comes to coping with a bully, each person has to chose for themselves the thing that works best, and do it. Everyone is different, and each individual brings to the table a unique set of strengths and shortcomings. Therefore, always exercise prudence when deciding which approach to take. For me, it’s persistent resistance, because unflinching determination has always been one of my attributes. I just stand my ground, even when I don’t feel particularly strong. Rolling over isn’t an option. I have found through research, watching others, and through personal experience that when it comes to dealing with a bully, you may not win right away, but for most people, it’s worthwhile to fight back anyhow. With your dignity and self respect intact, you are more likely to rise up to win, another day.
I have a dear friend, who wants nothing more than to see my persecution end. Once, she advised me to accept some unreasonable conditions imposed upon me by my employer, in order to win over my employer, even though contractual guidelines had been ignored. I did not take her advise, I chose to fight, first because it went against my principles, and second because I happen to recognize that my employer is a bully, and to her, any effort of mine to kowtow would simply be seen a sign of weakness. I filed a grievance, at the risk of ticking her off, making her hate me even more, incurring her eternal wrath. Yes sir, I stood my ground, and you might be wondering what the outcome was. She ended up rectifying the situation without a fuss. How’s that!
Even still, I have not gained favor with my employer, she still takes potshots at me whenever possible, but I like to think that what I may have gained is a little more respect. One thing’s for sure, she’s more likely to think twice before trying that stunt with me again. Now she knows I’m not the perfect victim, I’m prepared to defend myself, and to attack me, might prove more trouble than it’s worth.