All posts for the month May, 2013

What I’ve Learned

Published May 6, 2013 by Vida Caramela
English: A graph showing where electronic aggr...

English: A graph showing where electronic aggression occurs. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is so much to learn from observation. Here in the Blogosphere that is especially true. For example, I have only been a member of the blogging community for about 1 month now(anniversary in 3 days), and in this relatively short amount of time I have seen some STUFF. I’ve seen a number of blogs where the authors have been attacked and disrespected on their own sites.  Let me be clear, I’m not referring to any comments that simply express disagreement with the author’s view, I’m talking about comments of the bullying kind.

Whenever you have  an individual who dominates a blogger’s comments section with name-calling and disparaging remarks to the point that the blogger expresses distress, or whenever a commenter lacks the decency to disagree respectfully while speaking out on someone else’s blog, and  persists in launching meaningless  attacks over and again, it’s not a debate, it’s a shameless act of blog-bullying, plain and simple. I hate to see it, in the same way I’m outraged when I see bullying in the physical world, and I’m doing my best to make sure that I don’t fall prey to this ugly practice.

Part of my study  includes observing those bloggers who just ain’t having it.  I’m a believer in learning from the pros, and here in the Blogosphere there are people who behave like sharks, others like victims, and still others like shark-fighters. For that matter, there are bathers of all types swimming in the pool.  I’m taking it all to the bank. I’m making this my classroom, and  I’m cashing in on every lesson.

As a student, I like to read the opinions of other  bloggers, I enjoy getting honest feedback, and hearing suggestions, so by all means talk to me. I’m open, both to encouragement and to disagreement, but know that This Be My House, and if you happen to be one of those to disrespectful individuals that I described above, if you’re picturing yourself coming into my house to try and rip me or any of my visitors to shreds, then you might as well not even bother, because you won’t be doing that here. I always do my homework. As soon as you make contact with me, I start studying you. If you behave  like a shark, you are not welcome in my house.


No Greater Wrong

Published May 5, 2013 by Vida Caramela
English: Col. Theodore Roosevelt. Crop of Imag...

English: Col. Theodore Roosevelt. Crop of Image:Theodore Roosevelt, 1898.png with minor Photoshop cleanup עברית: תאודור רוזוולט (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“No greater wrong can ever be done than to put a good man at the mercy of a bad, while telling him not to defend himself or his fellows; in no way can the success of evil be made surer or quicker.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Sometimes, people with good intentions cause more damage than they do help.  I’m sure that I’ve been guilty of this at times, so I’m not standing in judgement. I’m simply pointing out that when it comes to coping with a bully, each person has to chose for themselves the thing that  works best, and do it. Everyone is different, and each individual brings to the table a unique set of strengths and shortcomings. Therefore, always exercise prudence when deciding which approach to take. For me, it’s persistent resistance, because unflinching determination has always been one of my attributes. I just stand my ground, even when I don’t feel particularly strong. Rolling over isn’t an option. I have found through research, watching others, and through personal experience that when it comes to dealing with a bully, you may not win right away, but for most people, it’s worthwhile to fight back anyhow. With your dignity and self respect intact, you are more likely to rise up to win, another day.

I have a dear friend, who wants nothing more than to see my persecution end. Once, she  advised me to accept some unreasonable conditions imposed upon me by my employer, in order to win over my employer, even though contractual guidelines had been ignored. I did not take her advise, I chose to fight, first because it went against my principles, and second because I happen to recognize that my employer is a bully, and to her, any effort of mine to kowtow would simply be seen a sign of weakness. I filed a grievance, at the risk of ticking her off, making her hate me even more, incurring her eternal wrath. Yes sir, I stood my ground, and you might be wondering what the outcome was. She ended up rectifying the situation without a fuss. How’s that!

Even still, I have not gained favor with my employer, she still takes potshots at me whenever possible, but I like to think that what I may have gained is a little more respect. One thing’s for sure, she’s more likely to think twice before trying that stunt with me again. Now she knows I’m not the perfect victim, I’m prepared to defend myself, and to  attack me, might prove more trouble than it’s worth.